I wanted to drop a note to explain why I’ve been out several times at seemingly random times the last couple of weeks. My partner was in mid-pregnancy and all the appointments seemed to be going well.

Unfortunately, all of a sudden at an appointment they couldn’t find a baby heartbeat, which meant an pretty immediate operation. This was also an quick reversal in emotions as we were preparing to tell our larger community about her pregnancy. I’m sure I don’t have to describe it fully (though I am open to talking), but it was an incredibly painful physical and mental experience for her, and I tried to support her the best I could. It took quite a toll on my mental stability, but I think we’re coming out of it physically okay… she spent her first summer day gardening outside today.

I’m sharing her note below as she did to her elementary school community to explain her absence.

Her message follows:


Selfie of partner closing her online class meeting on the last day of school

I have some sad news that I feel is important to share with ya’ll. Some of you were aware that I was pregnant and into my second trimester, but after a recent appointment they couldn’t find a heartbeat. I spent my birthday having a D&E.

I am heartbroken, but also would like to normalize talking about the occurrence of miscarriages and infertility. We were trying for over two years before I got pregnant, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who struggled with this.

I somehow made it to the last day of school with the help of Alper and family. I am grateful to be otherwise healthy with the help of some painkillers. I’m looking forward to some time off.